Land of Ukuleles

The traveling duo of Jack & Sue are, to quote Willie Nelson, “On the road again”.  Our final destination is the Aloha State, by way of San Francisco.  The first problem however, is to get out of Florida.  You see, just days before our scheduled departure, a neighbor decided to pay us a visit.  At least he threatened to stop by.  His name is Matthew and he is mean, unpredictable, wobbles like a drunken sailor, and is just not a good guest.  I refer of course to Hurricane Matthew as he approaches our latitude with attitude.

Cone of Uncertainty

We were forced to take a day out of our busy schedule of preparations to close up our hurricane shutters so Matthew won’t know we’re home.  Actually, we won’t be home but he doesn’t have to know that.  We should be 3,113.6 miles away in San Francisco when Matthew swings by the Florida coast.  That extra point six miles is our safety buffer.  You can’t be too careful. 

We are basing all of this according to the weather forecasters who are known for their uncanny ability to make accurate prognostications.  Just look at the picture below.  This guy is being paid to use his weather smarts to predict on a map just where a hurricane will go.  Hell, a 3 year old with a box of Crayola’s could have done at least that good.  I suggest that he stick to predicting meteors based on his degree in meteorology.

The Crayola Man

You will be hearing from us as time permits and as incidents worth retelling happen.  When we travel it’s almost a given that something unusual will happen.  As someone once said, “life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get down the front of your shirt.”  At least I think that’s how it went.

For now, we are still in Miami, living in the cocoon that is a house with all its shutters closed.  My security cameras are my only knowledge of the outside world.  Having the shutters closed cuts us off from the menagerie that is our south Florida yard.  Why, just yesterday, Sue called me to her office and pointed to a spot outside her window.  There was an excited mockingbird bouncing around on the ground and flapping his wings.  It took an extra second to see that he was excited about a snake coiled up in a defensive striking pose just a couple feet away.  The mockingbird ruled the day and the snake slithered away into a garden bed.  The Miami Dolphins could use that bird.  However, knowing them, they would have signed the snake.

Dolphins Look Good

At this writing, I have packed and re-packed my three bags at least a dozen times.  Temperatures in San Francisco are now in the 50’s and 60’s while the Hawaiian Islands are in the 70’s and 80’s.  Planning clothing for a thirty-degree temperature swing adds to the delight of wardrobe selection.  My packing observations are that women have it just as bad as the men, but in different ways.  Women coordinate “outfits” so that color schemes work for every occasion.  For me it is a matter of, after I pack a second pair of my gigantic shoes that take up half of a checked bag, do I have enough room in the remaining space for a change of underwear?  Drum-roll here, the answer was yes, but just barely.  You see, the underwear is big too.  Guys are penalized by the size of everything.  Women are penalized by the mere fact that they can actually see and differentiate colors.

Sue has an official packing list.  She has been coordinating outfits for weeks.  She has strategically grouped the items into geographic areas of her luggage by geographic destination.  One side of her suitcase holds San Francisco clothing and the other side is for Hawaiian clothing.  She has another printed sheet that tells her where everything is located.  I, on the other hand, put a piece of green day-glow gaffers tape on my packing cubes and vacuum bags with a list what's inside.  Different strokes for different sexes.

The question now is, how do you get this....

Stuff

.....into this.......?

I also have a roll-aboard and a messenger bag for electronics and camera gear.  You would think I was on a safari for National Geographic and planned to briefly stop off at an electronics convention to show off my new line.  My bathroom scale has accurately informed me that I am within just one or two pounds of the airline restrictions for each bag.  I am now diligently searching for an extra pound or two of “stuff” that I have set aside on that table of things I probably won’t need.  The caveat here is that I won’t need them unless I don’t have them.  Then the question will be, If only I had grabbed that HDMI to mico-USB connector to hook my laptop to the in-room HD TV, I could…..?

National Geographic Camera Gear

My life is more complicated than it needs to be.  I envy the folks who just grab a bag, throw in some clothes, and hop on a flight at the last minute.  Their vacations must be fun too.  The Griswold’s didn’t plan much and look how much fun they had.

That’s all for the first installment.  More when we hit the road and have access to the Internet.  I will try to post links to Facebook and I plan to send out links by email.  If you are reading this you should be able to return periodically to this same spot and check the entries in the right hand column labeled Blog Archive.  The dates of postings should be listed.